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Absolutely Fresh Seafood Newsletter

• Copper River Salmon - Memorial Day Weekend
  Posted 05/23/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 5/23/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- -   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market at 119th & Pacific will be OPEN Memorial Day   (yep, it’s this coming Monday. Already.)   9:00 am – 3:00 pm     Shucks and Bailey’s will be closed, so that our employees can spend time with their families. Or golf….. J   Thanks for supporting Omaha’s original oyster bar, folks. We appreciate every dime.   --Greg   p.s. Crawfish at Shucks, again this weekend, so come on down! p.p.s. Corned Beef Hash – home made, my own recipe, every Friday, Saturday and Sunday at Bailey’s   - - - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- -- - - Why computers are like men: In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.   Why computers are like women: No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. -- - -- -- -- - - - -- -- - -- --   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special: Copper River Salmon   [from Geoff]   COPPER RIVER SALMON is in at our flagship fish market at 119th and pacific. Seems the sockeye are running ahead of the king...but either way this once a year treat is on.........ONLY at ABSOLUTELY FRESH SEAFOOD in omaha...also for memorial day we want to remind you that we will be open from 9 to 3 on monday May 27. enjoy your weekend     Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- ---   (from the parents of three kids)   IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:   'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!   - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles   Crab and Corn Soup Spinach Chicken Salad with Raspberry vinaigrette dressing Bacon Wrapped Scallop served  with Clam Risotto Blackened Snapper served with red beans and rice Seared grouper with mango salsa served with house rice and veggies Open Face Tuna Melt served with side of fresh fruit   My friend only has one arm, which means he is the same as everyone else, except he only has one more chance to pet a shark.   Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   Blackened Alaskan Rock Cod atop red beans and rice. Crispy Tilapia sandwich with chips and fresh fruit. Teriyaki Mahi salad with soba noodles tossed with an Asian vinaigrette. Seared Scallops with marinated artichoke hearts and bacon relish.   All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors.   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Jerk seared scallops served over saffron risotto with Andouille sausage and peas   Seared rare Ahi tuna served over pickled cucumber salad with carrots and asparagus   Blue crab macaroni and cheese baked with smoked gouda and breadcrumbs - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- -   What has no beginning, end or middle and touches every continent? The ocean.   - -- - -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- THE QUIZ:   1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. ...What was the third child’s name? 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. ...What does he weigh? 3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? 4. If a hole measures two feet by three feet by four feet.. ....How much dirt is there in a hole? 5. What word in the English language ...is always spelled incorrectly? 6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. ....How is this possible? 7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. ...Why not? 8. What was the President 's name ....in 1975? 9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, ...what place would you be in now? 10. Which is correct to say, ...."The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? 11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, ....how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?           And now, the Answers:   1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name? Answer: Johnny, of course 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? Answer: Meat. 3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn’t discovered yet. [You're not very good at this are you?] 4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? Answer: There is no dirt in a hole. 5. What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly? Answer: Incorrectly 6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible? Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere 7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? Answer: You can’t take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures. 8. What was the President’s name in 1975? Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...] 9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first. 10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh!] 11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one. - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Angels Among Us - online fundraiser TOMORROW
  Posted 05/21/2013
  
  

  Join Shucks and support Angels Among Us on May 22nd Angels Among Us is competing in Omaha Gives! on Wednesday, May 22nd and would like your support to raise money for this one-day (24 hour) event.   What is Omaha Gives!? An online giving event through the Omaha Community Foundation on May 22nd to inspire the community to come together for 24 hours to contribute as many charitable dollars as possible. You may have already seen some buzz around the Internet. Check it out here: www.OmahaGives24.org   Who is Angels Among Us? Angels Among Us helps families of children battling cancer by attempting to reduce the amount of stress in their lives so that they can focus more of their attention on their children.   How does Angels benefit from this event? Omaha Gives! is a great opportunity for this organization to raise more money to help more families.   Gifts made through the Omaha Gives! event will be amplified by matching funds. Gifts made on May 22nd may also help Angels qualify for prizes based on number of donations, dollars raised, and increase chances to receive one of 24 hourly $1,000 gifts.   Plus, there are no transaction fees for these donations. Visit OmahaGives24.org on May 22nd   When you contribute to Angels Among Us you can help families like Derek's.   Derek's mom is a single parent of two kids. She eventually lost her job because of the time she had to spend getting Derek through cancer treatments. They moved in with her parents, made tough financial decisions, and relied on friends, but even that didn't stop the shut-off notices from coming or help pay the medical bills.   Read Derek's full story. http://blog.myangelsamongus.org/miller-family/   Be an Angels Advocate. Shucks supports the mission of Angels Among Us. Therefore, we are helping them get the word out about this opportunity. You can help too by pushing this one-day event through your networks (Email, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.). Start spreading the word!! Thank you!

  
  
  
• Copper River Salmon is IN!!!
  Posted 05/21/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Tuesday, 5/21/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- -   Copper River Salmon in by noon today!   First of the season. Sockeyes in today, Kings hopefully this weekend.   Limited amounts, as usual. And as usual, Absolutely Fresh is the first to have ‘em.   119th & Pacific store only   Also, Geoff, our illustrious fish market manager, is working with Lisa’s Garden (west Douglas County) again to bring in fresh veggies for your dining pleasure. Last week, the asparagus was phenomenal. Look for more selection soon. - - - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- -- - -   Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been. -- - -- -- -- - - - -- -- - -- -- A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.'   'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!'   -- - - -- -- -- -- Acupuncture: a jab well done. - -- - --- - -- -- - --   If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!  -P.J. O'Rourke  - - -- - -- -- -- - --- - - A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Verry Berry Salad at Baileys
  Posted 05/20/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Monday, May 20, 2013]     Thanks so much for supporting Bailey’s (and Shucks and Absolutely Fresh Seafood)!   You make all the difference.   If you are at Bailey’s on Friday, Saturday or Sunday, you might want to try our homemade Corned Beef Hash. We lightly smoke brisket with pecan wood. Gives it a nice touch, I think. Then we pull it apart – kinda like pulled pork – and mix it with our secret recipe seasoning and fresh cooked taters and onions. Tasty if I do say so myself….   This whole process takes 3 days, so we will be starting the batch tomorrow. Again. Every week.   Thanks, --Greg   - ---- -  - - - - - - - -   A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'   -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --   The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.   - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Bailey’s Bacon – it’s crazy good.   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   El Burrito Grande A super-sized tortilla filled with scrambled eggs, chorizo, ham, spinach, onions and mojo cheese topped with salsa verde on one half…salsa roja on the other, sliced avocado and a drizzle of sour cream. Served with a side of fresh fruit to cool you off…..$10.99   Veggie Benedict Griddled English muffin topped with sautéed spinach and sliced tomatoes topped with two poached eggs and hollandaise. Served with crispy browns and fresh fruit…. $9.99   Weekly Fast Tracker (Monday through Friday) One egg, cut of browns, toast and choice of patty, link or strip………$5.29   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Specials ~ Chicken Caesar Salad Grilled marinated chicken breast on a bed of romaine lettuce tossed in our housemade Caesar dressing topped with parmesan cheese and croutons…..$8.99   Very Berry Salad Mixed greens tossed with cucumbers, hearts of palm, tomatoes and our lemon thyme dressing topped with a seared marinated chicken breast and honey roasted peanuts sprinkled with fresh blueberries, blackberries and strawberries ………..$11.99     -- -- -- - -- -- --- --  -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- - -   A closed mouth gathers no foot. -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - --   A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember   Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure.' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.'   'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. ' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.   Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.   She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?'   - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Mahi, Crawfish and Morels
  Posted 05/16/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 5/16/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- -   Winter, Spring and Summer. But in a week???   Yikes!   Hang in there, ladies and germs…. It’s GREAT grilling weather.   Thanks for your continued support,   --Greg   p.s. Crawfish at Shucks, again this weekend, so come on down!   - - - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- -- - - When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.  -- - -- -- -- - - - -- -- - -- --   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special: Mahi-Mahi and Morels   [from Geoff]   ITS SO GOOD THEY NAMED IT TWICE....Mahi Mahi, Mahimahi, however you spell it........its good, try it on the grill this weekend, available in our flagship fish market at 119th and pacific..while supplies last....First of the Season. fresh veggies from Lisas Garden..Starting Friday, Hand picked wild grown asparagus..goes great on a grill. And maybe a nice white wine....Try William Hill or Grayson cellars..both california Central Coast and delightful on a hot summer day.     for the weekend....while supplies last...just picked morel mushrooms...as good as last weeks, but they went fast so stop in now....   Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'   'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'   'Twelve thirty.'   - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles     Caprese Salad with balsamic vinegar Mediterranean Beans and Bacon Soup Blackened Scallops with Clam Risotto Balls and Asparagus Crab Stuffed Portabella Mushrooms served with broccoli and couscous                                Hawaiian Style Snapper served with red beans and rice Seared Grouper Sandwich with Chipotle-Lime Slaw served with Fresh Fruit and pickle   Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!   Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   Hunan glazed Mahi over mixed greens tossed with soba noodles and Asian vinaigrette. Coquilles St. Shucks. Creamy Creole Linguini tossed with Crawfish, Shrimp and Andouille sausage. Crispy Walleye po boy with chips and fresh Fruit.   Atheism is a non-prophet organization.   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Jerk seared scallops with Andouille sausage risotto Parmesan crusted golden trout with herb roasted baby reds and vegie medley Blackened red grouper served with cilantro rice and habanero vinaigrette - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- -   Experience  is something you don't get until just after you need it.   - -- - -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- GOLF AND WHAT IT ALL MEANS Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer. Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls. If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble. Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot. The term 'mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase 'maul it again.' A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ...neither of whom can putt very well. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse. Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink. If your best shots are the practice swing and the 'gimme putt', you might wish to reconsider this game. Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive. The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.    - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Morels, Mothers Day and Free tickets
  Posted 05/10/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Friday, 5/10/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- - Loyal readers: Do you enjoy live Americana music??   FREE PAIR OF TICKETS to Gurf Morlix  (with a name that weird, you know he HAS to be good). http://www.gurfmorlix.com/   Reserved seats, right up front!   Plus free food prepared by Gary (Peckerwood BBQ)   It’s the Sunday Roadhouse Series, but will actually be this coming Tuesday, 5/14/13 7:30 show (doors open at 6:30), at the Side Door Lounge –very cool place, 3530 Leavenworth   2 pairs of tickets will be given away later today. Simply respond to this email, and your name will be selected at random. Winners will be notified at 6:00 pm, so please give me an email or phone number where you can confirm. If not confirmed by noon Saturday, I will pick another name. Tickets will be held at Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market, 119th & Pacific.   And you thought the only benefit of reading this spamarama was the jokes! - - -- - - -- -- - - -- -- -   Remember Mom this weekend!   Bailey’s, Shucks and Absolutely Fresh Seafood Markets. We’re ready for you….   Thanks for supporting us,   -- Greg   - - - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- -- - - Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~ Author unknown -- - -- -- -- - - - -- -- - -- --   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special: Morel Mushrooms in TODAY $15 for half lb. bag   [from Geoff]     its mothers day weekend and im ready for it...coming in thursday friday and saturday of this week...fresh from alaska, HALIBUT, from the coast of oregon KING SALMON, from the phillipines AHI TUNA, from the east coast  MUSSELS, LITTLENECK CLAMS and SCALLOPS. and in the freezer there's KING CRAB LEGS and LOBSTER TAILS. WINE SPECIALs  william hill Chardonnay and Cabernet, a little red, a little white priced right.   Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   Personal hygiene left much room for improvement.. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman's face she was told, 'mind your own bee's wax.' Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term 'crack a smile'. In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt . .. . Therefore, the expression 'losing face.'  -- - - - -- -- -- -- -- - - - -- -- -   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   CRAWFISH at Shucks this weekend We will have ‘em every weekend – depending on weather – until the end of June.   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles     Broccoli Cheese Soup Fish Taco Salad with Avocado ranch Seared Tilapia Sandwich with red pepper basil mustard served with side of fresh fruit Grilled Scallops with Basil Butter served with white rice and asparagus Mediterranean Snapper served with house rice and veggies   Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.   Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   Steak Caesar Salad Blackened Rock Cod atop Red Beans n Rice. Garlic Herb Creole Golden Tile, toasted Almond Red Quinoa and Sautéed Veggies Seared Scallops topped with Pineapple Basil Relish, Dirty Rice and Veggies. Crispy Yellowtail Snapper Po Boy with Chips and Fresh Fruit.   Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Lobster and crab pomodoro with peas and toasted breadcrumbs Jumbo scallops with creamy tiger shrimp risotto and spicy citrus dressing Blackened grouper with chipotle black bean cake and lime aioli - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- - A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.   Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight   Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up..' Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.   God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece   - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Mothers Day Features
  Posted 05/09/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 5/9/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- -     Mother’s Day is here!   Mom deserves the best… Absolutely Fresh!   We’ll be ready for you at Shucks, Bailey’s and in our fish markets. Stop on by and we will take good care of you. Treat mom to Lobster Bisque, or Halibut, Salmon, Shrimp, Scallops, you name it.   All moms deserve a great deal of thanks on this special day, and I would like to take this opportunity to thank my mom. How do you repay all the years of nurturing, feeding, clothing, putting up with endless arguing??? She put up with me – guess I was the wild child in our family of four boys. She always thought I would either grow up to be president or in prison. Fortunately, I escaped both.   Thanks Mom. I love you.   You son, Greg   - - - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- -- - - What does a clock do when it's hungry ? It goes back four seconds . -- - -- -- -- - - - -- -- - -- --   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special:    Mother’s Day Selection   [from Geoff]   its mothers day weekend and im ready for it...coming in thursday friday and saturday of this week...fresh from alaska, HALIBUT, from the coast of oregon KING SALMON, from the phillipines AHI TUNA, from the east coast  MUSSELS, LITTLENECK CLAMS and SCALLOPS. and in the freezer there's KING CRAB LEGS and LOBSTER TAILS. WINE SPECIALs  william hill Chardonnay and Cabernet, a little red, a little white priced right.   Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.   Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow.   The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.   The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"   "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."   - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles     Broccoli Cheese Soup Fish Taco Salad with Avocado ranch Seared Tilapia Sandwich with red pepper basil mustard served with side of fresh fruit Grilled Scallops with Basil Butter served with white rice and asparagus Mediterranean Snapper served with house rice and veggies   We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~ Aesop Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   Steak Cease Salad Blackened Rock Cod atop Red Beans n Rice. Garlic Herb Creole Golden Tile, toasted Almond Red Quinoa and Sautéed Veggies Seared Scallops topped with Pineapple Basil Relish, Dirty Rice and Veggies. Crispy Yellowtail Snapper Po Boy with Chips and Fresh Fruit.   There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators. ~ Will Rogers   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Lobster and crab pomodoro with peas and toasted breadcrumbs Jumbo scallops with creamy tiger shrimp risotto and spicy citrus dressing Blackened grouper with chipotle black bean cake and lime aioli - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- - A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish. I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me". The blond man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet". - -- - -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- GOLF TRUTHS   The wind is in your face on 16 of the 18 holes..   Nothing straightens out a nasty slice quicker than a sharp dogleg to the right.   The rough will be mowed tomorrow.   The ball always lands where the pin was yesterday.   It always takes at least five holes to notice that a club is missing.   The nearest sprinkler head will be blank.   Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.   - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• First Tuesday Fundraiser and Mothers Day
  Posted 05/06/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Monday, May 6, 2013]     Mother’s Day comin’ up this weekend. Bailey’s and Shucks – your mom deserves it! Our four restaurants will be open normal Sunday hours:             Bailey’s 7:00 am – 2 pm             Shucks noon – 8 pm   First Tuesday Fundraiser TOMORROW at Bailey’s and Shucks   Yep, Tuesday, May 7th, to benefit Ted E Bear Hollow Helping local kids get through tragedies since 2001   Thanks so much for helping us raise dough for the last 6 years. It’s really helped a lot of area people with their struggles. Mostly kids. And my theory is that “it’s never the kids’ fault.”   --Greg   - ---- -  - - - - - - - -   When you work here, you can name your own salary. I named mine, "Fred".   -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --   We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Homemade Corn Beef Hash – every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!    Best Eggs Benedict in Omaha! Have you tried our Monterey Benedict?   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Veggie Breakfast Sandwich Scrambled eggs with tomatoes, green peppers and onions  on grilled whole wheat bread topped with muenster cheese. Served with fresh fruit…………$8.99   Dad’s Favorite Omelet Three egg omelet with smoked bacon, ham, sausage and onions topped with cheddar cheese. Served with red taters and toast or pancakes….$10.99   Weekly Fast Tracker French toast wedge, one egg and a link or strip……$5.29   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Specials ~   Asian Shrimp Pasta Absolutely Fresh Seafood shrimp with penne pasta, celery, carrots tossed with our Asian chili sauce topped with diced tomatoes, and green onions served with grilled focaccia bread……….$11.99   The Crunch Burger Our Angus burger cooked the way you like it layered with lettuce, homemade horseradish mayo then topped with smoked bacon, American cheese and of course kettle chips for the crunch. Served with your choice of side……$11.99       -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - --   Police are called to an apartment and find a woman   holding a bloody 5-iron  standing over a lifeless man.    The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your   husband?"    "Yes " says the woman. "Did you hit him with that golf club?"    "Yes, yes, I did.."  The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts   her hands on her face.    "How many times did you hit him?"    "I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times..... just put me down for a five."   - -- - - --- -- -- Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first  U.S. president whose name contains all the letters from the word 'criminal.' (who thinks up this stuff???) The second? William Jefferson Clinton - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Crawfish again and Cinco de Mayo comin' up
  Posted 05/02/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 5/2/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- -   Last call for Spring. Summer starts in 30 minutes.   Crawfish Again at Shucks   Whoa…..! Guess you loved it last week, so we’re gonna keep it up for a limited time. The season usually lasts until late June, so we’ll play it by ear and keep you informed.   You know, we have the brown paper tablecloths and paper towels right there on the table, so we’re set for you.   Thank you so much for keeping us in business all these years. You’re the best!   --Greg   - - - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- -- - - If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. -- - -- -- -- - - - -- -- - -- --   Are you on Twitter?  Follow us at https://twitter.com/shucksoysterbar  to keep up with the latest!   - - -- -- -- - - -- -   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special:    Cinco de Maya goodies   [from Geoff]   CINCO DE MAYO...makes me think of all the good foods ive tasted on my trips to mexico..cabo, cancun, zijuatanejo, encinada..they've all been a wonderful food experience...soooooooooooooooooo im bringin in some great stuff for the weekend..(starting thursday afternoon)........mexican red snapper  and gulf grouper as well as gulf shell on white quality (the best there is) shrimp  cook em all on the grill.....and for appetizers Ana (from Puerto Vallarta) is making up some fish ceviche and some ahi tuna ceviche.......try any of these with my favorite south of the border  beer  Negro Modello                                                         have fun.............have fish   Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.   After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."    God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."   God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?" - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles   Chicken Tortilla Soup Asian Shrimp Salad with Asian dressing Pistachio Crusted Basa served with broccoli and white rice Blackened Snapper Sandwich served with side of fresh fruit Scallops and Pasta Florentine with side of fresh baguette bread Halibut Kabobs with pesto sauce served with asparagus and green rice   Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.   Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   1/2 pound Mussels Provencal Crispy Mahi and chips Seared Halibut with roasted red pepper ragout and Greek pasta salad. Blackened Grouper atop red beans and rice   I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE Sometimes I even put it in the food.   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Appetizer: Bacon wrapped crab stuffed shrimp with key lime habanero dressing Blackened Salmon topped with fresh guacamole, served over cilantro and green chili rice Old Bay chicken salad with grilled veggies and a mango/habanero/key lime dressing Coquilles St Shucks - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- - Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a pub with a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine. - -- - -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- - --   A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.' Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.' The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.' She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man. The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?' The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'   - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Baileys is 6 years old today. Thanks!
  Posted 04/30/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Monday, April 30, 2013]     Happy Birthday to Bailey’s!   Thanks for all your wonderful support for the last 6 years at Bailey’s. Seems like the flip of a fish tail, but it really has been six terrific years.   Karen, our dedicated manager – you all know her, and we all love her. A special shout out to you, Karen. Thank you so much!!     At Shucks: Crawfish by the pound – live, cooked or even dine-in at Shucks! We hope to have ‘em Thursdays through Saturdays, while supplies last; cooked with potatoes, corn and onion. You peel ‘em and eat ‘em. Pinch the tail and suck the head. At Shucks, each weekend while the season lasts.   Thanks, guys and gals…. You’re the best.   --Greg   - ---- -  - - - - - - - -    A young man and a priest are playing together.  At a   short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use   on this hole my son?”    The young man says, "An 8-iron, Father.  How   about you?"    The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven   and pray.  "    The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on   the green. The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the   ball out a few yards.  The young man says, "I   don't know about you, Father, but in my church, when we   pray, we keep our head down." -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --   In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal...   - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Homemade Corn Beef Hash – every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!    Best Eggs Benedict in Omaha! Try one of our 6 varieties…   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   May Day Scramble Eggs and roasted red potatoes scrambled with chicken, roasted red peppers, green peppers, onions and muenster cheese topped with our housemade hollandaise. Served with a hot buttered biscuit……….$10.99   Traci’s Sandwich Our coupe sandwich with a twist…egg whites, American cheese, sliced turkey on grilled whole-grain oat bread.  Served with crispy browns…….$8.99   Weekly Fast Tracker (Monday through Friday) Three cakes, one egg and a strip or link….$5.29   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Specials ~ Smoked Salmon Alfredo Absolutely Fresh Seafood smoked salmon tossed with spinach, artichokes, our Alfredo sauce and penne pasta topped with fresh tomatoes and green onions. Served with grilled Ciabatta bread………..12.99   Prime Rib Philly Sliced prime rib on a grilled hoagie bun with sautéed green and red peppers, onions, Provencal dressing, all topped with melted jack cheese.  Served with our au jus sauce and your choice of side…….$9.99     -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - --   A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Grand Rapids, Michigan. A $40 speeding ticket was included.  Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs….   - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Crawfish at Shucks and AFS
  Posted 04/25/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 4/25/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- -   Finally. Spring.   Crawfish at Shucks and AFS   While supplies last…..   If this goes over, we’ll do it again. We’re flying in Louisiana’s finest crawfish – live – and cooking ‘em up for you in all three Shucks locations. Cooked up with onions, potatoes and corn, in Creole and Cajun spices and herbs. Starting tonight. We’ll see how long they last.   Or pick up some live or cooked, from Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market at 119th & Pacific.   --Greg   - - - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- -- - - TEACHER:  Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER:  No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'     -- - -- -- -- - - - -- -- - -- --   Are you on Twitter?  Follow us at https://twitter.com/shucksoysterbar  to keep up with the latest!   - - -- -- -- - - -- -   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special:    Crawfish from Louisiana!   [from Geoff]   theyre everywhere................"CRAWDADDY TAKEOVER" this weekend at absolutely fresh seafood and Shucks Fish House and Oyster Bar. Live crawfish are on their way up from Eunice Louisiana and should be available all weekend while supplies last. Live Crawfish from the market for you to have your own Low Country Boil, weve also got the boudin, andouille and shrimp and if you want Shucks will serve it to you, along with potatoes, corn and get all the Louisiana beer you can swallow..........Lets have some fun... SPRING IS SPRUNG..........if we are to believe the weather peeps...and grillin season comes with warmer weather ,,,so for this weekend..escolar, corvina, tuna, halibut and of course salmon, organic, atlantic and wild pacific....come see the selection...COPPER RIVER IN LATE MAY..........LOOK FOR IT IN THE UPCOMING EMAILS...   Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. "Well," says the personnel director, "You'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute." Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.   "Also," says the director, "You must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course." This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.   "There's one last requirement," the director continues; "you must be bilingual." With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, "Meow!" - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles   Fiesta Chicken Salad with Ranch Dressing Chili Mac Soup   Grilled Escolar with Pineapple Salsa Blackened Mahi-Mahi Sandwich served with side of fresh fruit Pecan Crusted Scallops served with white rice and broccoli Grilled Tilapia sandwich served with pasta salad   Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.     ~ Jim Murray  Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   Crab stuffed mushrooms with spicy hollandaise. Sesame crusted tuna over sushi rice with grilled asparagus. Mediterranean shrimp linguini. Crispy Baja grouper sandwich.   Dyslexics Have More Nuf.   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Blackened Salmon topped with fresh guacamole, served over cilantro and green chili rice Lobster Cake Salad with champagne onions and lemon caper dressing Asian Glazed Mahi-Mahi with Tiger Shrimp risotto   - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- - A Lansing, MI.. policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!) - -- - -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- - --   Sunday morning church service     At the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.   A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was terrible and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."   You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.   "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a very delicate operation, which lasted for over five hours, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."   Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery that was performed on Tom.   "Now," she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord, after six weeks, Tom is now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief.   The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.   A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom." The entire congregation held its breath.   "I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."   - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Crawfish the weekend at Shucks and AFS
  Posted 04/22/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Monday, April 22, 2013]     Crawfish at AFS Markets and Shucks   Crawfish by the pound – live, cooked or even dine-in at Shucks! We hope to have ‘em Thursday through Saturday, April 25-27, while supplies last.   Come in to Shucks and experience a Louisiana tradition; Crawfish cooked with potatoes, corn and onion. You peel ‘em and eat ‘em. Pinch the tail and suck the head. At Shucks this weekend.   See Bailey’s specials for this week below. Manager Karen and Chef Jorge have cooked up some tasty specials for you. Check out the Asian Chicken Salad and the Torta (sandwich)!   We appreciate every dime you spend at Bailey’s, Shucks and Absolutely Fresh. Thank you so much…   --Greg   - ---- -  - - - - - - - - If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.  ~ Bob Hope  -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --   FIVE BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:   NUMBER 5: They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.   NUMBER 4: 'This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time-management course you sent me to.   NUMBER 3: 'Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-out. You probably got here just in time!   NUMBER 2: Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?    Number 1 and my all-time Favorite: best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:   (Raising your head slowly) '. In Jesus' name, Amen   - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Homemade Corn Beef Hash – every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!    Best Eggs Benedict in Omaha! Try one of our 6 varieties…   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Andouille Scramble Eggs and roasted red potatoes scrambled with Andouille sausage, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes and our mojo cheese blend. Topped with our housemade chipotle hollandaise. Served with a hot buttered biscuit……….$10.99   Torta Breakfast Sandwich A fresh baked roll grilled and loaded with shaved ham, fried eggs, onions, salsa, avocados and housemade chipotle mayo.  Chi-WOW-a!!! Served with fresh fruit………..$9.99   Weekly Fast Tracker, Monday through Friday Cinnamon roll, one egg and strip or link…$5.29   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Specials ~   Chicken Alfredo Chicken, Andouille sausage, artichoke hearts, tomatoes and green onions with fettuccine and our housemade Alfredo sauce sprinkled with parmesan cheese served with a side of light greens…….$10.99   Asian Salmon Salad Absolutely Fresh salmon on a bed of mixed greens tossed with mandarin oranges, cucumbers, red onions, roasted red peanuts, crispy noodles and our homemade carrot ginger dressing………$12.99   -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - -- True Story from Houston Medical Center   A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his hoohoo.   According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his hoohoo while he was asleep.   I don't know what's worse: 1) Having your girlfriend find out you're married.   2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your hoohoo.   3) Or finding out your hoohoo fits through your wedding ring.   - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Shucks Pacific 7th Anniversary TOMORROW
  Posted 04/18/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 4/18/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- -   Everybody enjoying spring???   Shucks Pacific turns 7 tomorrow!!   Check out our great specials for Friday 4/19 (below). Thanks for a wonderful 7 years, ladies and gentlemen.   Special thanks to our terrific, hardworking employees. Without you I am nothing. --Greg   Are you on Twitter?  Follow us at https://twitter.com/shucksoysterbar  to keep up with the latest! -- - -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Shucks Anniversary Specials!       ----   4/19/13 only   ----   Shucks Pacific Specials Blackened Grouper Samwich with red beans & rice ONLY 8.99!!! Crispy Tilapia Samwich w chips and slaw only 7.99! Lobster Tail – 8 oz Maine tail with the trimmings 28.99 “Tail and Tendy” (Lobster tail plus tenderloin fillet) 38.99   25c Peel n Eats all day long 3.99 boneless wings $5 hurricane $3 margaritas 6.99/doz for BP Oysters (only at Pacific)     Shucks Legacy Specials Peel n Eat Shrimp 25 CENTS all day Boneless Wings 3.99 Blackened Halibut Sandwich with pasta salad Mahi and Chips with spicy tartar sauce Ahi Tuna Salad with raspberry vinaigrette Seared Tilapia topped with curry sauce, served with rosemary roasted red potatoes & veggies     Shucks Downtown Specials Key West Ahi Ceviche with charred jalapenos and fresh house tortilla chips Fresh Fried Gulf Grouper sandwich with parmesan French fries Blue Crab Stuffed Tilapia with house rice and veggie medley Pacific Snapper over sweet corn succotash Succotash has bacon, red peppers   - - - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- -- - - A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory -- - -- -- -- - - - -- -- - -- --   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special:    Marlin is back!   [from Geoff]   blue marlin is back in the fish market...flagship market only, 119th and pacific......for the first time in months. $14.95 per pound.  Great steak fish, great on the grill with a little bit of salt and pepper, and just in.....Frozen stuffed shrimp...24 pieces of breaded shrimp stuffed with cheese and krab.....delightful..restaurant quality. and remember next weekend  (26-28) we will have live crawfish...but hurry, supplies will be limited,,,,order today   Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'  The father replied.  'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.' - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles   Creamy Asparagus Soup Spinach Halibut Salad with Italian dressing Hawaiian Style Snapper with red beans and rice Seafood Kabobs with teriyaki sauce served with broccoli and white rice Seared Scallops with garlic butter served with fried clam balls risotto and asparagus Grilled Grouper with mango salsa served with rice and veggies   The statement below is true. The statement above is false.   Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   Crab and Shrimp Louie cocktail. Shrimp and Gator kabobs with creole mustard sauce and dirty rice. Grilled Salmon Florentine, roasted red potatoes and mixed veg. Crispy Halibut po boy served with fresh fruit and chips.   Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But, then, I repeat myself.   -- Mark Twain   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Maine lobster Alfredo with sundried tomato, peas and angel hair Polenta dusted trout with roasted red potatoes and fresh guacamole Blue crab and sweetcorn fritters with spicy curry mayo   - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- - An elderly gent was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.   While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all These years, you still call your wife those loving pet names'. The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the  truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago I'm scared to death to ask her what it is! - -- - -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- - --   You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.   You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.   You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence. You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves. .....Abraham Lincoln   - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Baileys - Shrimp Pasta for lunch
  Posted 04/15/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Monday, April 15, 2013]     Shrimp Pasta at Bailey’s   Thank you so much for supporting Bailey’s. Believe it or not, we will be celebrating our 7 year anniversary – opening day was April 30, 2007. How time flies….   We will have something fun to celebrate, so watch this spot!   --Greg   - ---- -  - - - - - - - -   If You ever lived In Rural Nebraska .......   *You know how to polka, but never tried it sober. *You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means. *You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the church & reception. *You know the difference between Green and Red farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better! *You spent more on beer and liquor than you did on food at your wedding. *You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at the county fair. *You know that "combine" is a noun. *You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter. *You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions. *You know that "creek" rhymes with "pick". *Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set. *A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer and then out for Friday night fish. *Saturday you go to your local bowling alley. *There was at least one, if not several, in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning. *You have driven your car on the lake. *Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance. *Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar. *The local gas station sells live bait. *At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant. *You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday! You actually understand these jokes and will forward them to all your Nebraska friends!!!!!   - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Homemade Corn Beef Hash – every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!    Best Eggs Benedict in Omaha! Try one of our 6 varieties…   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Croissant Benedict Two poached eggs on a grilled croissant, sliced tomatoes and grilled asparagus topped with our homemade hollandaise and bacon. Served with crispy browns and fresh fruit…………$10.99   The D.C. Omelet Three egg omelet with sun-dried tomatoes, creamy goat cheese and spinach.  Served with roasted red potatoes and a hot buttered biscuit…..$9.99   Weekly Fast Tracker One piece of French toast, one egg and your choice of patty, link or strip…………$5.29   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Specials ~ Shrimp Pasta Absolutely Fresh shrimp with fettuccine and our housemade marinara sauce sprinkled with parmesan cheese served with a side salad and our spiced carrot dressing…….$11.99   Blackened Tuna Salad Absolutely Fresh blackened Ahi tuna on a bed of romaine lettuce tossed with diced tomatoes, French green beans, carrots, honey roasted peanuts and our house vinaigrette………$12.99   -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - --   Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets (Unbelievable but sadly true...) (Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener, and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)   TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.   ( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)   THREE A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'   (Keep shuddering!!)   FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'   PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!   FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.   Brunette, by the way!!   SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......' Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right away'   Don't laugh....it is all true...     - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Petrale and Dungeness AFS Fish Market
  Posted 04/11/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 4/11/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- -   Snow? What snow??   --Greg   Are you on Twitter?  Follow us at https://twitter.com/shucksoysterbar  to keep up with the latest! -- - -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --   "Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."  -- - -- -- -- - - - -- -- - -- --   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special:    Petrale Sole, Dungeness Crabs   [from Geoff]   its a west coast weekend...direct to absolutely fresh seafood..PETRALE SOLE. great in a saute pan..... you wont even have to go outside in the rain, OR..Fresh cooked Dungeness Crab. some people say the dungeness is the sweetest of the crabs...smells like butter..both will be available this week, thursday for the sole and friday afternoon for the crab......   CRAWDADDYS   A COMIN...........the season has opened in Louisiana  and our friends at the Louisiana crawfish company are shipping 100 lbs. for the weekend of 4/27-28....cooked and live crawfish will be available..order early....and remember we have boudin and andouille to go along with you low country boil.   BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR WILD KING SOON..and in may we expect to see the first of the copper river salmon...considered by many to be the finest tasting wild salmon.............   Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack   "Help me dear,"  she groans to her husband.   The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.   His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.  "I'm dying here and you're putting?"   "Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, " they found a doctor on  the second hole and he's coming to help you."   "Well, how long will it take for him to get here," she asks feebly?   "No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."   - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles   Lunch Specials   Blackened Pacific Snapper with red beans and rice Calamari Salad with Cilantro dressing Salmon Wrap with side of French Fries Asian Shrimp Salad with Asian dressing Halibut and Chips served with Sweet potato fries and coleslaw     Dinner Specials   Sausage Soup Calamari Salad with Cilantro dressing Bacon Wrapped Scallops served with Green beans risotto Seared Snapper with pineapple relish served with rice and veggies Blackened Grouper served with red beans and rice Seafood Pasta with Vodka sauce   The statement below is true. The statement above is false.   Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   San Francisco Shrimp Cocktail Hunan glazed Mahi salad with Japanese noodles. Salmon Philly with fruit and chips. Ruby Red Trout with brown butter hollandaise atop bacon-crab hash with grilled asparagus.   Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Maine lobster Alfredo with sundried tomato, peas and angel hair Polenta dusted trout with roasted red potatoes and fresh guacamole Blue crab and sweetcorn fritters with spicy curry mayo   - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- - A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks  him how he is feeling.  'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.  'What did he say,' asked the nurse.  'Oops!' - -- - -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- The story is told of a lady who was rather old-fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a week's vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn't quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old-fashioned term BATHROOM COMMODE. But when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So she started all over again and rewrote the entire letter referring to the bathroom commode merely as the BC. "Does the campground have its own BC?" is what she actually wrote. Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at all, and when he got the letter, he just couldn't figure out what the woman was talking about. That BC business really stumped him. After worrying about it for a while, he showed the letter to several campers, but they couldn't imagine what the lady meant either. So the campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about the local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the following reply: Dear Madam: I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure in informing you that a BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away, if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late. It is such a beautiful facility and the acoustics are marvelous. Even the normal delivery sounds can be heard. The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now a supper is planned to raise money to buy more seats. I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it surely is no lack of desire on my part. As we grow old, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather. If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks. Remember, this is a friendly community. Sincerely, Campground Owner - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• graphic test
  Posted 04/10/2013
  
  

  http://www.facebook.com/ShucksFishHouse /www.absolutelyfresh.com/images/cms/shucks_logo_small.jpg

  
  
  
• Oscar Omelet at Baileys this week only
  Posted 04/08/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Monday, April 8, 2013]     Oscar Omelet Look below, at Bailey’s Features. Mighty tasty! Chef Jorge is knocking it out of the park, and I think you oughta check out what he is whipping up this week…   Okay, now I am SURE it’s spring. Got my shorts on instead of blue jeans. Feels great. April showers bring May flowers, and snow is gone for six months or so. Enjoy, my friends…..   --Greg   Send Absolutely Fresh Seafood to friends and family. Take advantage of our buying power (we supply hundreds of restaurants, hotels, caterers and casinos). We ship overnight UPS at ‘ground’ prices within a couple hundred miles of Omaha!   Go to:   http://absolutelyfresh.com/buy_seafood_online.cfm   By the way, if you somehow missed the feel-good story of the year at the Cornhusker Spring Game, go to this Washington Post link:   http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/early-lead/wp/2013/04/07/7-year-old-cancer-patient-scores-in-nebraska-spring-game-video/   - ---- -  - - - - - - - -   There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.   - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Homemade Corn Beef Hash – every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!    Best Eggs Benedict in Omaha! Try one of our 6 varieties…   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Oscar Style Omelet A fluffy three egg omelet with asparagus, crab and mojo cheese topped with our housemade béarnaise sauce.  Served with red taters and a hot buttered biscuit……$8.99   Florentine Scramble Roasted red potatoes scrambled with seared chicken, sautéed spinach and mushrooms topped with diced tomatoes and melted provolone cheese.  Served with a hot buttered biscuit…..$10.99   Weekly Tracker Three cakes, one egg and a patty, link or strip…..$5.29   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Specials ~   Turkey Patty Melt Our turkey burger on grilled whole-grain oat bread with melted pepper jack cheese, grilled onions and Russian dressing. Served with your choice of side……$9.99   Blackened Salmon Salad Absolutely Fresh blackened salmon on a bed of romaine lettuce tossed with carrots, tomatoes, red onions and your choice of one of our housemade dressings……..$12.99   -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - --   I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.   -- -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - ---- - - -- - -- -- --   Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best   ~ Jack Nicklaus    - - -- - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- - -- -- - To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.     After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.   And the first thing he said was 'DON'T! '   'Don't what ?' Adam replied.   'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said.   'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! '   ' No Way ! ' 'Yes way! '   'Do NOT eat the fruit! ' said God.   'Why? '   'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.   A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked ! 'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? ' God asked.           'Uh huh,' Adam replied.   'Then why did you? ' said the Father.   'I don't know,' said Eve. 'She started it! ' Adam said.   'Did not ! ' 'Did too! ' 'DID NOT! '   Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.   If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.   If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?   - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Irish Organic Salmon, plus Alaskan Salmon
  Posted 04/04/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 4/4/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- -   Thanks to everyone who came out to support St Vincent DePaul on our First Tuesday Fundraiser! Great crowd, and lots of fun. Nice to see community support.   And thank you for support Shucks, Bailey’s and AFS.   --Greg   Are you on Twitter?  Follow us at https://twitter.com/shucksoysterbar  to keep up with the latest! -- - -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special: Irish Organic Salmon, Alaskan King Salmon, Alaskan Halibut, [Plus, coming soon, live Louisiana Crawfish]   [from Geoff]   Irish Organic Salmon....now at our flagship market at 119th, just south of big freds. It is delightful...try it, you'll like it. also in from Alaska a limited supply of wild king salmon and Alaskan Halibut. CRAWFISH..CRAWDADDIES...MUDBUGS...whatever you call em were bringin em in for the weekend of pail 26th. In honor of the new Orleans jazz and heritage festival...were also the place for andouille and boudin...all you need to do is add the corn and taters  for your own little low country boil     Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.   After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.   'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' - - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles   Lunch Specials   Fish Taco Salad with Avocado ranch dressing Panini Salmon Sandwich with side of Sweet Potato Fries Spinach Chicken Salad with Italian dressing Chicken Quesadilla with side of salsa and sour cream     Dinner Specials   Vegetable Beef Barley Soup Pecan Crusted Tilapia with white rice and veggies Fish Taco Salad with Avocado Ranch Dressing Grilled Grouper with Mango salsa served with rice and veggies Blacken Pacific Snapper with red beans and rice Asparagus Crab Pasta with Leeks and Mushrooms   Why are manatees so wrinkled? Did you ever tried to iron one?   Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   Grilled Oysters with toasted hazelnut butter. Honey jalapeno glazed Salmon with dirty rice and veg. Blackened Mahi Sammich with garlic orange spiced remoulade and sweet potato fries . Crispy tilapia with crawfish ragout, steamed rice and green beans.   The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Lobster Alfredo with angel hair pasta and crispy gruyere breadcrumbs Blackened Grouper with basil sweet potato wedges Grilled Golden Trout with key lime salsa and veggie orzo salad   - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- - A crab and a lobster are secretly dating. Pretty soon, the lobster tires of the lying and tells her father, who then forbids her to see the crab anymore.   "It'll never work, honey." he says to her. "Crabs walk sideways and we walk straight."   "Please," she begs her father. "Just meet him once. I know you'll like him."   Her father finally relents and agrees to a one-time meeting, and she runs off to share the good news with her crab sweetie.   The crab is so excited he decides to surprise his beloved's family. He practices and practices until he can finally walk straight!   On the BIG day, he walks the entire way to the lobster's house as straight as he can.   Standing on the porch, and seeing the crab walking towards him, the lobster dad yells to his daughter.....   "I knew it! Here comes that crab and he's drunk!"    -- - -- -- -- - [For all you non-believers this is very, very and I repeat a very true story,  I saw the whole thing.        Hope you had a  Happy and Blessed Easter.    Jerry ]   A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.   The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD.   The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry. A beautiful blonde woman driving down the road sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.   She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.   "I feel terrible!”  he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."   The blonde says, "Don't worry."   She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents on him.   The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves a paw at them and hops off down the road.   Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.   The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny ?"   The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.   It says..       (Are you ready for this?)   (Are you sure?)   (You know you're gonna be sorry)   (Last chance)     (OK, here it is)     It says,     "Hair Spray Restores life to dead hair, and adds a permanent wave." - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Test
  Posted 04/04/2013
  
  

  Test.

  
  
  
• First Tuesday Fundraiser - St Vincent dePaul
  Posted 04/02/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Tuesday, April 2, 2013]     TODAY:             First Tuesday Fundraiser today, April 2nd to help             St. Vincent DePaul, fighting poverty in Omaha   10% of you food and beverage purchase at Bailey’s, plus the 3 Shucks locations goes to help ‘em out. Please help.   Thanks for your continued support! --Greg   p.s. More lunch specials at Bailey’s. Check out our ‘menu of the day’ online (Shucks, too, each store). Go to our web site and pick from the restaurant list on the left side of the home page:   www.absolutelyfresh.com   - ---- -  - - - - - - - -   Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.   - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Homemade Corn Beef Hash – every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!    Best Eggs Benedict in Omaha! Try one of our 6 varieties…   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Durango Omelet Three egg omelet with chorizo, Andouille sausage, green peppers and roasted red peppers topped with our housemade chipotle hollandaise. Served with crispy browns and a hot buttered biscuit…..$10.99   Norwegian Benedict Two poached eggs on a grilled English muffin layered with Absolutely Fresh smoked salmon and sautéed spinach topped with our housemade dill hollandaise…….$11.99   Corned Beef Hash Beef brisket cured for three days then smoked with pecan wood right down the hill at Shucks tossed with roasted red potatoes, sautéed onions and an old world seasoning.  Served with two eggs cooked the way you like and your choice of toast……$12.99   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Special ~   Spinach Bacon Melt Fresh spinach, bacon and roasted red peppers on grilled rye bread topped with gruyere, boursin and bleu cheeses. Served with your choice of side…….$8.99   Bailey’s Combo Half of our tuna salad, chicken salad, egg salad or The Natural sandwich with a side of our Greek pasta salad………$9.99   Shrimp Louie Salad Bailey’s Shrimp Louie salad on a bed of mixed greens tossed with chopped eggs, red onions, bacon and tomatoes and our house vinaigrette………$10.99 -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - --   Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.   -- -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - ---- - - -- - -- -- --   Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.   - - -- - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- - -- -- - The Chicken Story...   Mirchandani lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.   So one day Mirchandani called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."   "What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff. "I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!" So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said:   SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING   Three days later Mirchandani called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster." So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign:   SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY   That really sped them up. So Mirchandani called and called and called are doing no good.. Can I put up my own sign?" The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign.." He was going to let Mirchandani do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling every day to complain.   The sheriff got no more calls from Mirchandani. Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the Sheriff and he decided to give Mirchandani a call.. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"   "Oh, I sure did. And! not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone.   The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign... It might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers..."   So the sheriff drove out to Mirchandani's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray painted on a sheet of wood....   NUDIST COLONY Go slow and watch out for chicks!   WINNERS DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY!!     - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Halibut
  Posted 03/28/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 3/28/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- -   HALIBUT SEASON – be the first on your block to get Alaskan Halibut! In this morning at our flagship store; 119th & Pacific   [All locations closed Easter Sunday]   Coming up in 5 days:                 First Tuesday Fundraiser next week (April 2nd) to help                 St. Vincent DePaul, fighting poverty in Omaha   10% of you food and beverage purchase at Bailey’s, plus the 3 Shucks locations goes to help ‘em out. Please help.   Thanks for helping us help Omaha!   --Greg   -- - -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special: Alaskan Halibut! FIRST OF THE SEASON…   [from Geoff]   ITS BACK...DIRECT FROM ALASKA TO ABSOLUTLEY FRESH SEAFOOD....HALIBUT. the season opened last weekend, and were getting one of the very first shipments. ALSO FOR EASTER WEEKEND  AHI TUNA AND NORTH ATLANTIC SWORDFISH...........AND MAYBE  "KING SALMON" depending on the catch..season for king just opened this week. HALIBUIT WILL BE AVAILIBLE IN OUR FLAGSHIP MARKET AND BOTH MINI MARKETS AT THE SHUCKS AT LEGACY AND DOWNTOWN. CLOSED EASTER SUNDAY.     Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- Baptizing A Drunk!   Tommie the Dog is stumbling through the woods totally drunk (still from St Paddy's Day)  when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. Tommie walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks Tommie, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'   'Yes I am'  replies Tommie, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river. He pulls him up and asks Tommie, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'   Tommie Replies, 'No, I haven't.' The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus, my brother?'   Tommie again answers, 'No, I have not found Jesus.' By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks Tommie in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.   When Tommie begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks Tommie again, 'For the love of God, have you found Jesus?'   Tommie wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,   'Are you sure this is where he fell in?   - - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   All 3 Shucks this week: Pacific Snapper with Red Beans ‘n Rice   Coquilles St. Shucks at all 3 Shucks locations through this Saturday! Try Chef Reed’s creation, his take on the classic scallop dish; Coquilles St. Jacques. Lightly Poached Diver Scallops in a Creamy Sherry Alfredo with Portabellas, Garlic, and Toasted Bread Crumbs   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles   Lunch Specials   Tempura Shrimp Salad with avocado ranch dressing Buffalo Chicken Wrap Served with side of pasta salad Spinach Salmon Salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing Grouper and Chips served with Sweet potatoes fries and coleslaw Blackened Swordfish served with red beans and rice     Dinner Specials   Seafood Cioppino Soup Spinach Salmon Salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing Blackened Grouper with red beans and rice Feta basil shrimp Pasta Crab Cakes with Cajun remoulade sauce served on a bed of couscous Coquilles St. Shucks   What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.   Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   Grilled Oysters Trufant Coquilles St. Shucks Blackened Pacific Snapper with red beans and rice Halibut and chips Crispy Grouper sammy with fruit and fries.   As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. ~ John Glenn   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Coquilles St Shucks Buffalo chicken wing soup Crab stuffed salmon Seafood paella   - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- -   THIS IS A KEEPER!!!!     It happened at a New York Airport. This is hilarious.  I wish I had the guts of this girl. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.   A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.   Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."   The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir.  I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."   The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"   Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS.  If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14".   With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "**** You!"   Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to get in line for that, too."   Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. - - - -- - -- - - -- ----   Why is it so easy to weigh fish? They have their own scales. - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Pot Roast, plus Migas at Baileys
  Posted 03/26/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Tuesday, March 26, 2013]  [closed Easter Sunday.....sorry]   Just a reminder:             First Tuesday Fundraiser next week (April 2nd) to help             St. Vincent DePaul, fighting poverty in Omaha   10% of you food and beverage purchase at Bailey’s, plus the 3 Shucks locations goes to help ‘em out. Please help.   Thanks for your continued support! --Greg   p.s. Pot Roast is back at Bailey’s this week only! With homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, of course. And have you ever tried Migas for breakfast? Check it out below. - ---- -  - - - - - - - -   Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'   - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Homemade Corn Beef Hash – every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!    Best Eggs Benedict in Omaha! Try one of our 6 varieties…   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Migas Nebraska Eggs scrambled with jalapenos, corn, tomatoes, cotija cheese and crispy tortilla chips topped with salsa Roja and cilantro.  Served with roasted red potatoes and fresh fruit……..$11.99   Smoked Salmon Hash Absolutely Fresh Seafood smoked salmon tossed with roasted red potatoes, sautéed onions and green peppers drizzled with sour cream. Served with two eggs cooked the way you like and your choice of toast……$12.99   Weekly Tracker Half waffle, one egg and a patty, link or strip…..$5.29   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Special ~   Tuna Salad Salad Bailey’s tuna salad on top of a bed of mixed greens, carrots, cucumbers and red peppers.  Tossed in your choice of homemade dressing……$10.99   Pot Roast Platter Our savory pot roast served with mashed potatoes covered with brown gravy sided with sautéed green beans…….$9.99     …….AND   DURING   LENT --   Each Friday during Lent:  Fish and Chips! -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - --   A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." -- -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - ---- - - -- - -- -- --   I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. ~ Robert Benchley   - - -- - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- - -- -- - I was sick and in the hospital. There was one nurse that just drove me crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, 'And how are we doing this morning',   Or 'Are we ready for a bath', or 'Are we hungry ?' I had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bed side stand. Later, I was given a urine bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went !   The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it. 'My, it seems we are a little cloudy today. ' At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, 'Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time.' The nurse fainted.......... I just smiled.   - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Wolf Fish
  Posted 03/21/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 3/21/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- - Spring is coming…..I can feel it! Hang in there, ladies and gentlemen; it will come.   In the meantime, keep eating fish 3x/week to stay and/or get FIT.   Thank you for your continued patronage of our little company.   -- Greg  -- - -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special:   [from Geoff]   the good the bad and the ugly....thats ruby trout, me, and wolf fish....,,,,specials this week, starting friday for the ruby trout, $8.99 for the wolffish, like a cod, light flaky white fish, great sautéed with just a touch of salt and pepper and $11.99 for the ruby trout, 10 oz. filet..from brul idaho , the trout capitol of idaho. The farmer, stacey, says she likes to do a almond crusted trout, pan fry for a minute or two and then finish it off in the oven at 350 for 5 minutes     Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- IRISH OR ITALIAN ...   There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.   Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in the seminary, and upon graduation, became priests.   Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a wee cut above Timothy Murphy in all respects.   Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally Cardinal was swift to say the least and the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two who would become the next Pope.   In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work. In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.   The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!   Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated, because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was just a bit better qualified.   With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked: "Why Timothy ?"   After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man and rose to reply.   "We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called POPE SE-COLA !   - - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles   Lunch Specials   Spinach Salmon Salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing Santa Fe Chicken Salad with ranch dressing Grilled Halibut Salad with cilantro dressing Blackened Mahi-Mahi Sandwich served with cottage cheese and sweet potato fries     Dinner Specials   Soup Chicken and Wild Rice Halibut Salad with cilantro dressing Grilled Trout with Herd Butter served with rice and veggies Sesame Crusted Salmon served with asparagus and white rice Seared Tilapia with Thai Coconut Curry Sauce served with broccoli and rice Smoked Salmon Pasta   A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.   Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   San Francisco Cioppino Black n Blue Grilled Oysters. Crispy Walleye Po’ Boy Walnut crusted Orange Roughy with Gorgonzola cream. Seared Wolf fish (Loup de Mare) with Havarti and bacon house salad.   A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Coquilles St Shucks Lobster Lasagna with artichoke hearts and asparagus Paella Risotto with calamari, mussels, smoked chicken and peas.   - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- - Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach. The girl lobster suggested that the boy lobster go get them an ice cream cone.   Having purchased two cones, Mr Lobster made his way back to the beach, deciding on the way to eat his ice cream. By the time he had finished the ice cream, he realized that his girlfriend's had started to melt all down his claw, so he licked it up and ended up eating it too.   When he arrived back at the beach Ms Lobster exclaimed "Where's my ice cream cone?   "Well", he said. "I decided to eat mine, then yours melted so I ate that too."   She was incensed and cried "You shellfish bastard!!" - - - -- - -- - - -- ----   The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.    - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• World Herald review of Shucks Downtown
  Posted 03/15/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Friday, March 15, 2013]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- - Okay, this is just simple bragging, ladies and gentlemen; I don’t want you to miss today’s Omaha World Herald review of Shucks Downtown!   Just go to this link to see the entire article:   http://www.omaha.com/article/20130315/LIVING/703159955/1184#for-fish-fresh-and-tasty-go-to-shucks   Thanks to our wonderful employees who made this happen. Including Chef Reed and the other guys in the kitchen, plus Jon and Bao out front. And a special thanks to Jaime Hendrickson, who has been looking after our Shucks restaurants for about half a year now (you will see him quoted in the newspaper article today).   And thanks to all of you. Otherwise there would be no point to all of thisJ   -- Greg   --- - - --  - -- -- -- -  - -- - --- -- - -- -- -- - -  -- --- -- -- - - ---  (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.' He addressed the man, 'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?' Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?  CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)  WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'     WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'  CREATION A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece --- - - --  - -- -- -- -  - -- - --- -- - -- -- -- - -  -- --- -- -- - - ---    Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Blackened Diver Scallops with grilled asparagus risotto Atlantic Salmon stuffed with lobster, artichokes and smoked gouda. Smoked Salmon and Vodka Alfredo served over linguini with cabernet onions   - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Irish Salmon
  Posted 03/14/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 3/14/13]]   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special:   [from Geoff]   It’s all things Irish this weekend!    Available now in the flagship market (119th & Pacific)… Organic Salmon direct from Ireland and for your bagels and lox….Irish cold smoked salmon.   Brian has also smoked some Atlantic salmon and flavored it with Irish whiskey…oh my goodness!   …and for your bracket party, how about some cooked shrimp, crab dip or ceviche…GO JAYS!!!     Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- Patrick O'Malley hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" - and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.  In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?"  So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."  "Oh," she said, "that is very nice, dear."  The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking partners in the street. Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?"  She replied: "Aye - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come". - - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles   Lunch Specials   Salmon Sandwich and Salad Combo Fried Oyster Salad with Dorothy Lynch dressing Tune Melt Croissant with sweet potato fries Salmon BLT Salad with ranch dressing   Dinner Specials   Roasted Garlic Potato Soup Wasabi Crusted Scallops with creamy clam risotto Crab Stuffed Basa with Lobster Sauce with dirty rice and veggies Crispy Halibut and Chips with spicy tartar sauce -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Never iron a four leaf clover.   You don’t want to press your luck…. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --- --- --- Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   Lemon-Garlic Grilled Oysters Blackened Mahi-Mahi Sandwich with provolone and Cajun remoulade Crispy Salmon and Chips Mediterranean Linguine with Shrimp -- -- -- -- -- Try saying…   “Irish wristwatch” -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Lobster Lasagna with spinach and artichokes Smoked Chicken Risotto with rosemary and applewood bacon Blackened Salmon with bourbon mashed sweet potatoes and sage butter   - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- - A Swiss man, on holiday in Dublin, needed directions. He was standing outside Davy Byrne's pub when he saw two youths walking by so he stopped and asked them, 'Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?' The two lads looked at each other blankly and then stared back at him. 'Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français ?' he tries. The two continue to stare. 'Parlare Italiano?' Still absolutely no response from the two lads. 'Hablan ustedes Espanol?' The Dublin lads remain totally silent. The Swiss guy walks off, disappointed.  One of the boys turned to the second and said, 'Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language!' 'Why?' says the other youth, 'That guy knew four languages, and look what good it did him!' -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• 
  Posted 03/14/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 3/14/13]]   Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special:   [from Geoff]   It’s all things Irish this weekend!    Available now in the flagship market (119th & Pacific)… Organic Salmon direct from Ireland and for your bagels and lox….Irish cold smoked salmon.   Brian has also smoked some Atlantic salmon and flavored it with Irish whiskey…oh my goodness!   …and for your bracket party, how about some cooked shrimp, crab dip or ceviche…GO JAYS!!!     Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- Patrick O'Malley hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" - and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.  In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?"  So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."  "Oh," she said, "that is very nice, dear."  The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking partners in the street. Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?"  She replied: "Aye - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come". - - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles   Lunch Specials   Salmon Sandwich and Salad Combo Fried Oyster Salad with Dorothy Lynch dressing Tune Melt Croissant with sweet potato fries Salmon BLT Salad with ranch dressing   Dinner Specials   Roasted Garlic Potato Soup Wasabi Crusted Scallops with creamy clam risotto Crab Stuffed Basa with Lobster Sauce with dirty rice and veggies Crispy Halibut and Chips with spicy tartar sauce -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Never iron a four leaf clover.   You don’t want to press your luck…. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --- --- --- Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   Lemon-Garlic Grilled Oysters Blackened Mahi-Mahi Sandwich with provolone and Cajun remoulade Crispy Salmon and Chips Mediterranean Linguine with Shrimp -- -- -- -- -- Try saying…   “Irish wristwatch” -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Lobster Lasagna with spinach and artichokes Smoked Chicken Risotto with rosemary and applewood bacon Blackened Salmon with bourbon mashed sweet potatoes and sage butter   - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- - A Swiss man, on holiday in Dublin, needed directions. He was standing outside Davy Byrne's pub when he saw two youths walking by so he stopped and asked them, 'Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?' The two lads looked at each other blankly and then stared back at him. 'Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français ?' he tries. The two continue to stare. 'Parlare Italiano?' Still absolutely no response from the two lads. 'Hablan ustedes Espanol?' The Dublin lads remain totally silent. The Swiss guy walks off, disappointed.  One of the boys turned to the second and said, 'Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language!' 'Why?' says the other youth, 'That guy knew four languages, and look what good it did him!' -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Tuna Melt at Baileys This Week
  Posted 03/11/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Monday, March 11, 2013]   Snow day? We wish….   Back in the saddle after three weeks on the Gulf Coast, and I come back to this L   The good news; it’ll be gone in a couple of days. Spring is right around the corner.   Thank you to everyone for making us a success. And thanks to our fine employees for allowing me to take off on my trip! Feels great, I can tell you.   -- Greg - ---- -  - - - - - - - -   Opportunity may knock once, But temptation bangs on the front door forever.   - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Homemade Corn Beef Hash – every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!    Best Eggs Benedict in Omaha! Try one of our 6 varieties…   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Mid-Western Omelet Three egg omelet with corn, green peppers and ham topped with cheddar cheese. Served with roasted red potatoes and a hot buttered biscuit………$8.99   Veggie Croissant Breakfast Sandwich Scrambled eggs tossed with tomatoes, onions and green peppers on a fresh grilled croissant topped with melted muenster cheese. Served with fresh fruit…….$10.99   Weekly Tracker, Monday through Friday One egg, fresh fruit and toast….$5.29   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Special ~ Tuna Melt Blue Plate Bailey’s tuna salad on grilled rye with melted cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and avocado served with cole slaw and to finish the plate……chips……..$10.99     …….AND   DURING   LENT --   Each Friday during Lent:  Fish and Chips! -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - --   My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.   -- -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - ---- - - -- - -- -- --   How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?   - - -- - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- - -- -- -   DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS (Or the uncertainty of the English language) Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.  Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'  Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'   - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Tuna Melt this week only at Baileys
  Posted 03/11/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Monday, March 11, 2013]     Snow day? We wish….   Back in the saddle after three weeks on the Gulf Coast, and I come back to this L   The good news; it’ll be gone in a couple of days. Spring is right around the corner.   Thank you to everyone for making us a success. And thanks to our fine employees for allowing me to take off on my trip! Feels great, I can tell you.   -- Greg - ---- -  - - - - - - - -   Opportunity may knock once, But temptation bangs on the front door forever.   - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Homemade Corn Beef Hash – every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!    Best Eggs Benedict in Omaha! Try one of our 6 varieties…   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Mid-Western Omelet Three egg omelet with corn, green peppers and ham topped with cheddar cheese. Served with roasted red potatoes and a hot buttered biscuit………$8.99   Veggie Croissant Breakfast Sandwich Scrambled eggs tossed with tomatoes, onions and green peppers on a fresh grilled croissant topped with melted muenster cheese. Served with fresh fruit…….$10.99   Weekly Tracker, Monday through Friday One egg, fresh fruit and toast….$5.29   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Special ~ Tuna Melt Blue Plate Bailey’s tuna salad on grilled rye with melted cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and avocado served with cole slaw and to finish the plate……chips……..$10.99     …….AND   DURING   LENT --   Each Friday during Lent:  Fish and Chips! -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - --   My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.   -- -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - ---- - - -- - -- -- --   How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?   - - -- - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- - -- -- -   DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS (Or the uncertainty of the English language) Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.  Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'  Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'   - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• Tuna Melt at Baileys
  Posted 03/11/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Monday, March 11, 2013]     Snow day? We wish….   Back in the saddle after three weeks on the Gulf Coast, and I come back to this L   The good news; it’ll be gone in a couple of days. Spring is right around the corner.   Thank you to everyone for making us a success. And thanks to our fine employees for allowing me to take off on my trip! Feels great, I can tell you.   -- Greg - ---- -  - - - - - - - -   Opportunity may knock once, But temptation bangs on the front door forever.   - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Homemade Corn Beef Hash – every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!    Best Eggs Benedict in Omaha! Try one of our 6 varieties…   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Mid-Western Omelet Three egg omelet with corn, green peppers and ham topped with cheddar cheese. Served with roasted red potatoes and a hot buttered biscuit………$8.99   Veggie Croissant Breakfast Sandwich Scrambled eggs tossed with tomatoes, onions and green peppers on a fresh grilled croissant topped with melted muenster cheese. Served with fresh fruit…….$10.99   Weekly Tracker, Monday through Friday One egg, fresh fruit and toast….$5.29   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Special ~ Tuna Melt Blue Plate Bailey’s tuna salad on grilled rye with melted cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and avocado served with cole slaw and to finish the plate……chips……..$10.99     …….AND   DURING   LENT --   Each Friday during Lent:  Fish and Chips! -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - --   My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.   -- -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - ---- - - -- - -- -- --   How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?   - - -- - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- - -- -- -   DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS (Or the uncertainty of the English language) Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.  Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'  Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'   - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• White Tuna in the market
  Posted 03/07/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 3/7/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- - So much seafood, so little time. After spending this week in New Orleans, we are headed to an oyster festival in St. Louis, of all places. Then back home.   Yes, I have stolen quite a few idears for Shucks, Bailey’s and also Absolutely Fresh markets. Maybe 10 pounds heavier, but it was worth every calorie!   Thanks for all your support,   -- Greg  -- - -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Absolutely Fresh Seafood Market Special:   [from Geoff]   its almost St. patty's day and those Irish have been askin for somethin from the homeland....so weve  created "Drunkin Irish Salmon"  our famous smoked salmon marinated in Irish whiskey and spices..its a winner and we will have it through March 17th.   in the fishmarket youll find some of the finest white meat tuna weve seen in a long time. $16.99 per pound while supplies last.   Startin thursday, shucks at 119th and pacific will feature this same tuna. this time in a smoked tuna melt, cheddar cheese, lettuce and tomato....your gonna think its spring time.   If your havin some "arch madness" games at your house remember absolutely fresh for dips, spreads, smoked salmon and the cities best cooked shrimp.     Flagship store – 119th & Pacific 402-827-4376 Legacy – 402-763-1860 SW corner of 168th & Center Downtown – 402-614-5544 1911 Leavenworth (1 block west of our old location)   - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --- This is a good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, long, ways down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you. To my "selected" strange-minded friends: If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line. Only very good minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!   7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15.   If you can r ead this, you have a strange mind, too. Only 55 people out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!   - - - -- - -- - -- -- - -- - -- -- - --   SHUCKS: Omaha’s Favorite Seafood Restaurant – Voted Best of Omaha once again for 2013!   Shucks Legacy, SW corner of 168th & Center, 402-763-1860 Chef Alejandro, manager Jim, ass’t manager Miles   Lunch Specials   Chicken Quesadilla with side of salsa and sour cream Iceberg Wedge with ranch dressing Halibut and Chips with Spicy tartar sauce served with fries and coleslaw Asian Shrimp Salad with Asian dressing   Dinner Specials   Tomato Basil Soup with croutons Asian Shrimp Salad with Asian dressing Tortilla Crusted Tilapia served with white rice and broccoli Blackened Marlin served with red beans and rice Seafood Pasta   FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church.   Shucks Pacific, 119th & Pacific, 402-827-4376 Chef Bryce, manager Dwaine, ass’t manager Rebecca   Oysters on the half shell with olive and cucumber relish and feta cheese. Crispy Halibut and Chips. Teriyaki Mahi-Mahi salad with Japanese noodles. Mussels Linguine tossed with sherry cream.   In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.   Shucks Downtown, 1911 Leavenworth, 402-614-5544. Chef Reed, manager Jon, ass’t manager Bao   Blackened Diver Scallops with grilled asparagus risotto Atlantic Salmon stuffed with lobster, artichokes and smoked gouda. Smoked Salmon and Vodka Alfredo served over linguini with cabernet onions   - --- -- - - -- -- -- - - -- -- - 'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court  Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'  'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and    then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.' - -- - -- -- -- -- -- - -- - -- -- -- - -- - - - -- -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• 1st Tuesday and Baileys specs
  Posted 03/04/2013
  
  

  [this email sent Monday, March 4, 2013]     First Tuesday Fundraiser tomorrow, at Bailey’s, plus all 3 Shucks locations. Help Operation School Bell get kids ready for school next fall. Shoes, backpacks, etc for children that could really use a hand. Please help!     And remember that Absolutely Fresh Seafood ships fresh and frozen seafood via UPS, You get ‘overnight’ service for ‘ground’ pricing within a couple of hundred miles of Omaha.   Send some of the the freshest seafood in the Midwest to somebody today: http://absolutelyfresh.com/buy_seafood_online.cfm   Thanks for spending your hard earned money with us!   -- Greg   By the way, at Bailey’s, this week only, you can get Migas. What the heck is Migas? Well, chop up some tortillas and combine with egg, diced tomato, jalapeno, and your choice of other veggies. Makes a great breakfast or lunch!   I had some in Texas last week, and Karen had the Florida version recently, so we’re trying them out on you. - ---- -  - - - - - - - - Home cooking.  Where many a man thinks his wife is. ~ Jimmy Durante - - - -- - - - - - - -   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Homemade Corn Beef Hash – every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!    Best Eggs Benedict in Omaha!             The World Herald loves our Benedicts…   ~ Bailey’s Features ~   Migas Nebraska Eggs scrambled with jalapenos, corn, tomatoes, Cotija cheese and crispy tortilla chips topped with salsa Roja and fresh cilantro.  Served with roasted red potatoes and fresh fruit……..$11.99   French Toast Croissant A sliced croissant coated with our French toast batter topped with fresh strawberries and sliced bananas.  Served with 2 eggs and your choice of patty, link or strip…..$10.99   Weekly Tracker, Monday through Friday Half waffle, one egg and a patty, link or strip…..$5.29   ~ Bailey’s Lunch Special ~ Pepper Jack Chicken Sandwich Seared marinated chicken breast topped with bacon and pepper jack cheese on a toasted split-top bun served with your choice of side…………$8.99     …..and try one of our desserts From Sweet Magnolias!!!     …….AND   DURING   LENT --   Each Friday during Lent:  Fish and Chips! -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - --- - --- --- - --   After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.  ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez -- -- - -- - -- -- -- -- - ---- - - -- - -- -- --   WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY. - - -- - -- - - -- -- -- - -- -- - -- -- - *A man and his wife, moved back home to Missouri, from Texas .* ** *The husband had a wooden leg, and to insure it back in Texas, it cost them $2000. Per year!*   *When they arrived in Missouri, they went to an insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure his wooden leg.*   *The agent looked it up on the computer and said: '$39.'* ** *The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Missouri to insure it because it cost him $2000 in Texas!*   *The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says:* *Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system above it, is $39...* *You just have to know how to describe it!   - -- - -- - -- -- - - -- -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- - To unsubscribe to this mailing list, please send a message to http://www.absolutelyfresh.com/optout.cfm   Or if you want to subscribe, OR to help a friend subscribe, look at the left side of: www.absolutelyfresh.com

  
  
  
• 1st Tuesday Fundraiser - Operation Schoolbell
  Posted 02/28/2013
  
  

  [This email sent Thursday, 2/28/13]]   - -- - -- - -- -- - --- -- - Operation Schoolbell – First Tuesday Fundraiser next week! You know, I get many requests from worthy organizations regarding our First Tuesday event. Sadly, I turn almost all of them down, and that’s a tough thing; saying no to somebody who can really use assistance helping folks who need it.   A long time ago, before Shucks was even a gleam in my eye, I decided to focus on helping kids. The reason is simple – it’s never their fault. One never knows about adults, including parents; are they just down on their luck or are they alcoholics, or lazy, etc. I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but there is still that doubt.   So – we do our best to help feed and clothe kids. Pure and simple.   I’m asking your help this coming Tuesday, at our Operation Schoolbell fundraiser. By coming into Shucks and Bailey’s you will be, in turn, buying shoes, clothes and backpacks this fall for some kids who don’t have access to much. Think about it; you can help a child show up to school in a decent pair of NEW shoes. Talk about dressing for success!   Thank you. Always.   -- Greg  -- - -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --